October 16, 2020 You've probably heard of and maybe indulged in the exercise of writing a letter to your younger self. The idea is to take stock, reflect, set down the big lessons of the past, and promise to live by them in the future. That's all well and good, but I've already made a… Continue reading A pandemic diary: Letter to younger self
Could you make me some tea? Don't worry, I don't expect you to show up at my door with a "cuppa," as the British would say, or a glass of the sweet variety preferred here in the South. I'm just inquiring, most politely, if this task falls within y'all's life experience and the scope of… Continue reading Tea for two (and for dummies)
April 20, 2020 Have I got plans for THIS weekend! Friday I'm finally going to get that Hell's Angels tattoo I've always wanted -- and afterward, once my shoulder stops hurting, I'll hit the bowling alley. Saturday it's time for a long-overdue haircut, followed by a massage to work the stress of the last several… Continue reading A pandemic diary: A wild weekend!
My wife and I just returned from a jazz education conference in the city where jazz was born, the one that greets the suckers tourists with the slogan “Laissez les bon temps rouler!” or “let the good times roll.” However, after a few days in the conference hotel, les bon temps became le mauvais moment*… Continue reading Un visiteur grincheux dans le grand pas si facile, or A grumpy visitor in the big not-so-easy
So you made it through the holiday. Congrats, but don’t stay happy for long! Seeing as how you’re a Real American, it’s time to shed the mindset of celebration and take up the mantle of guilt and self-improvement. New Year’s resolutions? Dude, like soooo last millennium! According to the poohbahs of pop-psych, what you need… Continue reading The kindness of non-strangers
I recently ran across one of those "copy and paste and play along" posts on Facebook, a list of questions to answer and share. This one was called "40 things about me," but I'm too busy to wade through the whole bunch, and I'm betting a lot of y'all would tune me out somewhere around… Continue reading 40 shades of Dave
A few months back, I retired from my gig as an unpaid but dedicated language and grammar grouch. Y’all could have sent me a few thanks and maybe policed your own copy for a change, but nooooooo! So I’m coming out of retirement with some hot tips on slang, which is fun to use and… Continue reading Watch that slanguage!
Since today is National Senior Citizens Day, I thought we could all take a break from our busy schedule of lying about being at Woodstock, and using periods in texts just to aggravate the grandkids. Stay with me while I share some priceless* information from our good friends at the AARP on the subject of… Continue reading Geezerhood for dummies
Welcome to my retirement! Not the one from my actual job a few years ago but the brand new one from my other life as a professional language police person and grammar nag, writing under the moniker Uncle Grumpy. You might ask why I’m retiring. (You might also not care.) Well, it wasn’t an easy… Continue reading Uncle Grumpy’s gone fishin’
This “new old age” business is definitely getting old. Not only am I losing vital inches from the frame I’ve been feeding and cultivating all these years, but a precious part of my brain is wilting like last week’s boutonniere. Why? Because I use a GPS! Those pesky scientists have found that those who lean… Continue reading Nonsense of direction